when i need to talk to myself.

2011-05-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

There isnt any story in my life.

There isnt any memory in my life.

There isnt any friend in my life.

There isnt any platform to express the feelings in my life.

It just occurred to me that one just cant express or share what's on

their mind on social websites in fear that someone else would be taken in by it.

& why bother doing the things that someone else told you to

when on the other hand, your words are just left ignored?

The chances in life are there or given for a reason.

It isnt something to be taken in lightly.

A chance is difficult to give to or come by.

A chance does not only mean a happy ending.

It could also be just another ending or the worst thing that has

ever happened in your life.

People tend to play around with my head.

& im stupid enough to consider their feelings without using any

form of harsh words on them even if im mad etc.

Guess im still too soft on the inside.

Nevermind. Im just gonna go with the flow and keep mum

without doing anything as Ive got not enough strength anymore.

2011-02-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

2008.

What an old picture i found in picasa.

2011-01-07T11:38:00.000+08:00

How i wish that paradise would appear right before me now.

Everything's been sucha blur.

Been here and there, going to and fro with basically no

common intention whatsoever. It just feels like time's wasted,

energy absorbed, pockets dried up.

Technically saying, i have absolutely no idea what each day

has in store for me.

I could be striking it big and making riches later on,

but after that i might end up with absolutely nothing.

Not even a spec of dusk.

Whatever it is, im gonna take it step by step in my stride

alone.

Sometimes, it's just hard to say it out & better when

it's kept.

2010-12-22T19:04:00.000+08:00

Hope ille get to sign on with the army.
Just applied as an infantry specialist as my 1st choice
and an supply assistant as my 2nd choice.

Life is still not going so well for me right now
but spending time together with baby helps me not to
think bout anything.
We discussed bout our future and all and i am ready for it.

i cant wait for friday to come as ille be able to spend
quality time with him.

i love you alot and you know it.
im willing to go thru everything with you
no matter how easy or difficult it may be.

i miss you alot sweetheart.

♥ , Rae.

2010-11-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

Im so tired.

Lucky yesterday was the last Night Shift.

Gonna start morning shift This coming monday.

And i really miss baby. So damn much.

Cant wait for him to book out on the 9th.

He's sleeping now cuz he have to wake up at 5am tmr.

Alalalalala my poor baby. ):

So glad to hear his voice.

Am so gonna spend quality time with him when he books out.

Take care of ureself alright baby?

I really miss you.

♥ Rae.

2010-11-25T07:27:00.000+08:00

Baby's otw to tekong now.

Gonna miss him so much.

Ure gonna be bald again! teeheeeee

Anyways, ive been down lately.

Lots of things so little time.

Trying to stay positive and not dwell on it, but it's nearly im possible.

Im mentally and physically exhausted.

But one problem's has just been solved.

I really dont know how to repay their kindness.

All i can say is, thank you for ure kindness, care and concern.

(':

Cant wait to see baby again in 2 weeks time.

i ♥ you.

2010-09-25T05:08:00.000+08:00

Pheonix by Randy Clayton.

Koi by Andrew Yeo.

I suppose this blog isnt dead yet. hahaha

been buzy with work and what nots but now, its time for an update!

So.. The Phoenix has already been to stage 2 which is shading.

The Koi, only stage 1 which is the outline.

Pheonix was damn torturing.

The pain at the shoulder blades were unbearable.

But ive got no choice. I had to endure it till the end.

Hopefully the koi would heal fast so i can continue with the shadings and then the

dreaded last parts. the colouring.

I think i need to go get the numbing cream already.

alrightey. Im awee bit sleepy already.

I miss my baby soso much. and he's booking out later. yey!

cant wait.

Xoxo.

2010-07-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

Teehee.

Life has been going on smoothly. Finally got my ass hired.

What am i working as?

Im a Piercer / Tattoo apprentice at Silver Needles Tattoos & Piercings.

This job isnt a routine for me.

It's my passion, my life.

Im just grateful to have a good boss and loud colleagues.

Everyday's a different day.

One down in my to - do list.

Next, license.

Hopefully ile pass by this year. By hook or by crook.

2010-07-24T03:12:00.000+08:00

What a beauty.

I hate flu.

2010-07-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

If eyes bags are detachable , i think mine would

weigh as heavy as a primary school kid's bag pack.

My sleeping hours are totally off the hook.

Currently at work now.

Day is as mundane as a blank piece of paper.

It's as noisy as a wet market here.

School kids talking to their friends as though they're

on the other side of the world.

If only we have a volume button at the sides of our necks.

I would not hesitate to turn the volume down.

For now, Im a little bit dazed.

No, noone threw a stone at me. That's not the reason.

Im just sleep deprived.

Haiz.

2010-06-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

Im finally working!
Life's getting better thou. Gonna have my full back done soon.
Guess ille update when i get back.
Gotta go to work now.

2010-06-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

Lady Gaga - Alejandro [Cover by Rae] from Rae on Vimeo.

One of my Lady Gaga covers.

Enjoy!

2010-06-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

This happens when i get bored.

Well there's more, but ille put it up one by one.

Each attached with a new post when i feel the need to blog.

I need a job like a.s.a.p seriously.

Im rotting away at home with so many plans in mind.

Been out job hunting but still no calls or emails.

Ugh. i hate it when this happens.

It's like as thou ive wasted my time and effort sending out

numerous resumes like someone giving away free cookies at a charity fair.

Sometimes i just wanna find a corner and position myself like a prawn.

Or just crumble into dust.

Oh wells, this is reality. I cant do anything about it except to

work harder till i get it. Im gonna call baby now.

Hope listening to his voice/stories might cheer me up.

Ciao.

2010-05-29T11:44:00.000+08:00

^^ miumiu so totally cuteee.

hehehehe

2010-05-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

1. Tie me up,

2. Place me in a crate,

3. Label it "Antarctica",

4. Push the crate into the sea.

5. Let the crate flow to Antarctica.

There you have it.

5 easy steps to send me away and after that, just pretend that

i have never existed in this world.

2010-05-14T12:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes blood just isnt thicker than water.

Nobody knows how i feel.

Its better to be alone and uncared for rather

then having alot of people in ure life but noone bothers.

The one thing that ive ever hated in life was to be given

something without any sincerity just because "i made too much noise".

If that is the case, just isolate me in a room and open it up a few months after.

That would solve everything.

Cuz by then i would already be dead so i guess that would help

with me not bothering any of you again.

Why am i here anyways?

I think it could be a mistake.

2010-05-05T21:32:00.000+08:00

Miss you Miss you Miss you.

2010-04-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

Imagine having ure body shut down while eating and walking.

It sucks.

_|_u.u_|_

2010-04-29T11:07:00.000+08:00

I NEED SLEEEEEEEEEEP.

I WANT TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEP.

I CANNOT SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

PLEASE LET ME SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

*stabs both eyes so i turn blind*

2010-04-28T23:43:00.002+08:00

I cant seem to sleep.

And even if i do, ille have the most weirdest/freakiest dreams ever.

I cant take it any longer. It's driving me nuts.

Nearly 2 weeks worth of not sleeping properly and waking up

early in the morning is taking a toll on my health.

I need to see the doctor to get some sleeping pills.

Please. Let me sleep. Even if its only for a day.

I need a dreamless yet peaceful sleep.

Haiz.

V.V

2010-04-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

I AM SUFFERING FROM SORE EYES, HEADACHE, RUNNY NOSE

AND I CANT PLAY JAMLEGENDS WHICH I THINK IS A SIGN

TO SAY THAT I LEAD A VERY BORING LIFE AND THAT IM NOT

BORN TO PLAY ANY COMPUTER GAMES EVER.

BYEBYE.

2010-04-21T20:28:00.000+08:00

I need to watch Juno again.

I feel so sick and useless.

2010-04-15T00:23:00.000+08:00

Happy 5th Monthsary Vato!

Sat come quick, sat please come quick.

Cuz i cant wait to see you again.

I <3 You sososo very much noone knows.

Ure the air that i breathe.

Ure the strings to my guitar.

Ure the soul to my body.

Ure the reason why i wake up every morning.

2010-04-12T23:04:00.001+08:00

It is seriously so damn bloody hot its as thou the sun is in my bedroom.

Having an aircon doesnt help either. Not when you cant even have it on.

Might as well have it uninstalled rather than having it collect dust unused.

The fan has been a tremendous "help" by blowing either at my feet or my face.

I wouldnt mind if the wind produced is strong. The wind produced is as

good as taking a cardboard to fan myself.

Before going to bed, im all dry.

After waking up, my clothes and bedsheet "washed" themselves while im asleep.

Just bathed and im sweating again. Moved the fan and my entire plugs fell.
Leaving me to pick them up and i got burned by my stupid wireless router.
Now im hotter than before.
Might as well sleep in the corridor.

Thanks alot.
_|_

2010-04-08T21:47:00.000+08:00

Good heaven. Saturday, please come fast.

I cant wait to see you. Nobody knows how much i miss you.

Argh Argh. A trip to town isnt the same without you.

And i heard a super4 awhile ago.

I swear it was you. Omg. Im gonna go nuts.

Time, please pass faster.

I need to see you! ):

I <3333333 you so much.

muah muah muah.

2010-03-29T17:32:00.000+08:00

Finally got my ass hired.

Work's tiring but fun.

Somebody just realized who his friends was.

Ive only got one thing to say.

Its up to you to do whatever you like.

Its ure life. Not ours.

Uve got a choice, to either take the wrong or the right path.

Ure old enough to think, you dont need noone to

tell you what to do.

All the best in living ure life.

Live it to the fullest.

2010-03-12T04:58:00.000+08:00

Husaini's mummy is so cute.

She asked what's my name and whether i would like anything to drink.

And so i told her my name and said its okay auntie i just had a drink.

Few minutes later, his mummy came into his room and gave me a drink.

She said its a must for her to serve me a drink when i went

over to bb's place yesterday, after following bb for his

appointment at the national dental centre.

HEHEHE.

Husaini's daddy said hi to me.

HEHEHE

2010-03-10T17:06:00.001+08:00

Finally. I could write something here.
Connection's being a bitch at home and I Cant even log in to blogger. Well, im currently at the national dental centre for about 2hours now. Baby's in the room plucking out his wisdom tooth. And here I am outside, freezing my ass off the seat with the wireless and the tele with is now showing ellen degeneres as my company. I wonder when would Baby be done. I hope it'll be soon, or I think ille freeze to death. Should have bought something to munch on. Now my tummy's rumbling. Alright. Shall watch the tele now. Toodles.

some facts abt sherlynn foo.

2010-02-27T00:52:00.002+08:00

sherlynn foo aka RAE is my lovable gf.

she's cute, she's funny, she's fun to be with. she never fails to make me laugh.
she's the one i wanna grow old with.

if any of u dumb fucks think tt husaini can never settle down and be faithful in a relationship, think again and go fuck urselves over and over again.

well back to rae.

when she comes home frm anywhere,
the first few things tt she will do is go on her mac.
then go to yahoo. read the news after which she would check her mail.
while doing this, her mac messenger will be already signing in.
once her yahoo email is logged on, she will just mark all her mails as read.
after doing this, she will then go to facebook. check her home check her watever.
sometimes she will maybe check out my profile. tee hee.

then she goes to her blog and then do her famous blog hopping.

all this is down when i'm on my way home.

p.s this is an everyday routine for her after i send her home everynight.

hehehehe....

- husaini.zee

hi BB!

2010-02-27T00:43:00.002+08:00

hello BB !!!! wahahahaa

2010-02-17T02:48:00.000+08:00

Happy belated 3rd monthsary baby.
Was supposed to blog bout it on the day itself but i guess i forgot.
Oh anyways, I love spending time with you.

Thank you for being by me when i was at my lowest the other day.

I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't there.

Im sorry for all the trouble ive put you thru.
You've been the pillar of support whenever i needed help.
Never once, had you failed to put a smile on my face.

Im happy.
Im really happy.
Im really really happy now.
& that's cuz ive got you in my life.

I would promise to hold ure hand and never let go.

♥

2010-02-10T03:31:00.001+08:00

My soul has been taken away, & i just cant seem to find it.

I may be smiling, joking around and making people laugh but

underneath, im depressed, sad and angry and confused.

I brokedown in public just now.

Its the last straw tat im hanging on to.

Ive been getting relapses frequently.

At times, ive thought of letting go.
Cuz i dont wanna drag you down with me.

When will my misery end?

2010-02-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

My body's like jelly.

And i miss Zee.

ByeBye

2010-01-26T12:12:00.001+08:00

As of today, i hereby declare that i aint bumming no more.

Say hello to the corporate world

and to the moolahs that ille be receiving every month.

Its gonna be my ferst time in a different field so,

i am crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

Ille be taking my class 2b mayb next month. Or mayb the next?

Hmm. Mayb I should stop procrastinating and just do it.

Next month k Ash bby!

Zee's in camp now taking a nap.

Poor thing, he had to go thru a parade in the

morning and it took its toll on him.

Sometimes i worry bout his health.

He has not been getting enough shut eye.

At the most, its only a 2-4 hours perday and off he goes to camp

and back again. But he has the drive to do it.

How i wish i had that kind of attitude.

He made a great impact in my life.

He made me realize that in life,

you would have to go thru shit before you could succeed.

& that we're getting older as we speak.

That hit me rock solid hard in the head, telling me that its time to stop

procrastinating and do something worth while.

So since im back on track now, with a new job etc;

Im gonna give my very best even though if it's gonna pull me down.

Well, so i can support myself, my current family, Zee for his bike,

(Cuz he always make the effort to fetch me and send me home)

and for my future.

Guess ive typed long enough.

Toodles babies.

*I want my mini scamber real quick! Bahhhhh

Kthxbai

2010-01-16T04:07:00.002+08:00

My internet connection has decided to act like a bitch.

2010-01-15T03:13:00.000+08:00

Happy 2nd Monthsary my dearest!

U always make my day a good one.
U never fail to put a smile on my face and make me laugh.
U are always there to lend me ure shoulder to lie on.

U would always give me awesome bear hugs.
U would always assure me that everything's gonna be alright when its not.
U would always give me flying kisses when ure in the lift after sending me home.

♥ ♥ u bb
(:

2010-01-12T17:41:00.000+08:00

The pictures in my post always doesnt have anything to

do with what i write here.

Anyways, i find someone annoying and he's getting on my nerves.

What you did didnt matter to me before.

But now, bit by bit, ure trying to step on my head

and wanting to test my patience.

Since you want it so much, why not try getting it on ure own?

Or better still, ask ure other half to get it for you?

Dont do it if uve got no cash urself.

Its fucking annoying to always hear the phone beep

and seeing ure name appear on the screen.

Why not bother the others?

Why us?

Please. I had enough of ure nonsense.

If ure a man, and ure not happy with what ive just written

and i guess you ought to come to me and have a chat.

If ure balls are wheres ur brains at,

then i guess you shouldnt bother and stop annoying the people

in my life.

2010-01-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

Im blessed with a boyfriend who loves and dotes on me.

I have never imagined us being together.

It didnt even cross my mind.

Being with you was the greatest gift.

Nothing beats snuggling up with ure loved one.

My week has been good. It has always been good with you.

Youlle always have me smiling.

Ure the melody to my song.

Without you, its incomplete.

I ♥ You Husaini Ariffin.

2009-12-31T15:32:00.001+08:00

Im having the mother of all mother's heartburn.
Haiz.

2009-12-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

Seriously. I wonder why some people just love to

hide behind the screen and hate tag.

Who are they? What do they look like?

It can only come to one conclusion.

They are the group of people who has nothing else better to do.

& hate tagging gives them cheap thrills.

Why would anyone even want to start a cyber war?

Ure a human being.

You have a mouth. You have brains.

You have manners. You can just say it nicely in my face rather then

being timid and hiding behind the comp screen and typing all

those shit at someone's tagboard just because you know that

noone would find out who you are.

They will. Eventually.

Im sorry but you wont bring me down by some hate tags.

It's not that easy.

Im not affected as it doesnt concern me.

2009-12-28T18:26:00.000+08:00

Finally.

The long awaited phonecall from the manager of Kimage came.

Briefing on the upcoming Thursday for 30mins.

And orientation for the whole of next week.

Eggcited! With Ash baby too! ^^

Today's stay home day.

Zee's in camp and wont be able to book out till tmr morning

due to duty. Poor baby. Must've been bored out of his bones.

Nothing to do, no mp3 ( we still donnoe where the hell my mp3 went. )

But ille assure you tmr's gonna be fun!

Missing you already my dear boy.

Cant wait to see you tmr (:

<333

2009-12-22T04:35:00.000+08:00

My baby just got pimped last Thursday.

Sucha beauty.

Life has been like a roller coaster recently but i handled it well.

Sometimes it's just hard to focus but hey, it's all in the mind.

Is it?

Well, ive been pondering over my existence in this world.

It wouldn't make a difference if there's one less person here.

Nobody would notice or care as they have their own life to lead.

All ive done is to disappoint.

I never did bring joy and laughter to the ones that cared.

I thought i had. But i was wrong.

It's hard to know what they want from me.

Sometimes things like this could turn a small argument into

a big fight. All because of a misunderstanding.

This isnt the life for me.

Ive had enough of staying home.

Day by day ive been getting restless

due to me being cooped up at home and cashless.

The time has come for me to pursue what ive been wanting to

a long time ago.

At least im gonna be learning something and earning at the same time.

I have to be independent from now on since im of age.

So noone would have to worry about me anymore.

Frankly speaking, it irks me to even listen to that particular person.

Yet alone look and talk.

Im still not adjusted to the change.

& i know it still wont be that soon.

Anyways, ille prove them wrong.

Ille show them that i would do whatever it takes

to be independent and that im matured enough to think.

Guess that's all ive got to say.

Nights.

2009-12-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

Hate taggers = Losers behind the comp screen with nothing else to do.

2009-12-17T03:57:00.000+08:00

I am tired of all this.

It seems like everyday is argument day.

When can i feel a little carefree and happy?

I hope so soon enough.

2009-12-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

I WANT THIS NOWWW NOWWW NOWWW.

I AM A HUNGRY KID NOWWW

I WANT THAT NOWWW NOWWW NOWWW!

>=(

2009-12-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

Hello baby! i know that ure reading this now cuz you wanna

see this 2 pics. hahahahahahaha

Someone's in camp!

kk byebye

2009-12-15T02:52:00.000+08:00

Happy 1st Monthsary Baby!

It doesnt feel like we've been together for only a month.

Instead, it feels like we've been together for such a long time.

Time flies by so quickly.

Ure the reason im all smiles everyday.

Ure the reason i look forward to waking up everyday.

Ure the reason i didnt give up on love.

Ure the reason i feel that we're meant to be.

I Love You Zee.

♥

2009-12-14T18:13:00.000+08:00

Watch Paranormal Activity & Ninja Assassin few weeks back,

& Zombieland yesterday.

Great movies with the bestest person.

<33333

2009-12-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

Baby bought me a pair of new reef slippers,

2 boxers, my peanut butter and macadamia cookies,

a Metal Mulisha sticker and printed photos of us last Thursday.

Thank you so much munchkins!

^,^

Saturday was my Aunt's so called "home" ROM.

She looked pretty with make up on.

& i felt ugly standing beside her.

-.-"

Grandmom's place was filled with my relatives.

My place was filled with my aunt's friends.

Baby made it too! (:

Anyways, i miss my girls!

Rina & Naf. Not forgetting Syazwan the wierd creature.

I shall see you guys on the 1st alright? Misses!

^.^

Okay im off to get ready.

Gonna go to Aunty's shop to pay the remaining with baby.

Toodles.

2009-12-05T04:37:00.000+08:00

Im sick of life.

I AM FUCKING SICK OF EVERYTHING.

My room reeks of maggie and thanks to it, im beginning to

have tremendous hair fall yet again.

Im sick of instant noodles.

Ive got a wound on my head and

i cant stop picking it.

Im sick of the scabs.

I bruise easily and ive got countless of bruises on my legs.

Im sick of the bruises.

My tailbone hurts occasionally.

Im sick of the pain.

Well, to make things simpler,

Im just sick of every single thing in my life.

Im even sick with myself.

If i could kill myself, i would.

Seriously, ive been getting more and more

frustrated as days goes by.

I myself donnoe why.

The weather has been a bitch,

The traffic has been a bitch,

Everything suckballs.

_|_ Life.

2009-12-01T05:01:00.000+08:00

New Phone, Misteri jam 12, cup noodles, big gulp,

milk biscuits and Zee at Ecp.

What more can i ask for?

<3333

2009-11-28T08:53:00.000+08:00

I love spending time with you.

Its been sucha long time since i did that.

Anyways, life has been good.

It hasn't been any better.

There isnt much to talk about nowadays.

So i think ille get some shut eye.

Goodmorning people.

2009-11-21T04:35:00.000+08:00

I hope ure gonna be okay

I hope ure gonna be okay.

*Fingers crossed*

2009-11-18T18:29:00.000+08:00

I feel shittier than a pile of shit.

The rain isnt helping.

Instead its making me feel even worse then before.

Its disheartening.

Its fucking heart-wrenching.

When can i ever get pass this stage of depression?

Am i suppose to live with it throughout my whole entire life?

I need them anti-depressants.

2009-11-18T05:21:00.000+08:00

Ahh so this pic of my drawing still exists in my mac.

Well, lets see. Lets just see how long.

Mouth zipped, eyes on the prowl.

Its getting colder day by day.

Imagine it snowing here in Sg.

Well, i cant. I dont wanna be buried under a thick pile of clothing.

Guess ille hit the sack now.

Night2 people.

2009-11-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

Bye bye colourful head.

Im dying it right now so,

I hope the colour will turn out right.

Anyways, i think im freezing.

Zee's room = Freezer.

Sejukxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx nak mamposzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx.

Pantat Mangkok Kueh Kochi!!

2009-11-17T02:31:00.000+08:00

Im glad im much more happier than you are.

Anyways,

<333 Zee. Zee. Zee. Zee. Zee. Zee.

2009-11-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

My child.

Still thinking of what to name it.

The weather could be predictable every single day.

Skies are covered with dark clouds filled with all the vapor that

has been evaporated by the sun elsewhere.

It has been cold.

Very cold.

Every single day.

2009-11-09T08:04:00.000+08:00

Well, come to think of it,

staying home isnt that bad afterall.

Ive not been going out as often as i did back then.

I enjoyed the presence of a family member.

Its time for me to take a time off and spent it with the fam.

Come to think of it, i never did quite spend my time with them.

I mean, i did. But only for a short period of time.

Quite unfair isnt it?

All the more i should spend my time with them.

Well, not everytime. I shall prioritize time between them and friends.

Its already Monday.

8.03am and im still not asleep.

Which, i am supposed to be.

2009-11-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

Do not ride a super4 if youre small in build.

My legs were literally screaming for help.

And my bag got wet due to the rain.

Thanks eh hus!

-.-"

2009-10-30T04:18:00.000+08:00

Im recovering.

Im glad.

Many thanks to the people around me.

Today was good.

Anyways, sorry to keep you waiting Ash bb.

Zul arrived at an even later time.

Chilled for a while and headed to simei to meet the others.

Had a really nice chat.

Had a really good laugh at Ruz. HAHAHA

Petir and friends picked me up and had supper at simpang.

And now im back home with eye infection.

AGAIN.

Oh gosh.

2009-10-26T15:28:00.000+08:00

Even if life is like a pile of shit now, i still wont give up.

Holding on. To whatever thats left.

2009-10-26T03:09:00.000+08:00

Eventhough im not rich, im happy the way i am.

Money cant buy you real happiness.

Money cant buy you love.

I do not look for materialistic needs in a partner.

All i need is someone to be there for me.

To care, concern and go thru this pile of shit we call life together.

This love wont fade.

It cant be erased.

Try as you may, it still beats for one.

2009-10-25T14:55:00.000+08:00

)':

2009-10-25T03:32:00.000+08:00

Cicak made me cried 2 times at gall and another while walking.Nabil tried, but i only became sad.Chicks tried but failed. Instead of making me cry, he made me wanna laugh and cry at the same time.
Im i that bad of a person?I need to know the reason.I cant go on living like this.

2009-10-24T01:13:00.000+08:00

What am i doing now?

I wished i had the answer.

When things were becoming good for me,

everything else crashes.

Im just like an empty shell now.

I donnoe where the hell im heading to,

nor what hell im doing.

Middles up to myself.

Appetite's gone.

Mind's gone.

Soul's gone too.

2009-10-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

Just because of what i wear now, people thinks im of a different scene.

Assumptions. Humans and their non stopping assumptions.

Oh, and why do they make assumptions?

Cuz they've got a whole lot of free time.

And the free time is for?

Stalking and making assumptions.

Takmo la jaga tepi kain org.

Pegi la jaga kain sendiri.

2009-10-20T13:08:00.000+08:00

I need them Antidepressants.

Please. Now.

2009-10-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

I am feeling so depressed.

My lungs are shouting for oxygen.

My mind's screaming for freedom.

I am going Mental. Period.

_|_

2009-10-18T22:51:00.003+08:00

I do not see what i used to see.

2009-10-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

It seems much more complex then it is.

Anyways, lol to you.

2009-10-14T01:54:00.002+08:00

What is happening? My system is disappointing me.Why is it at this time? Why oh why.Body feels like jelly and mind isnt stable.
I would be glad if i could sleep, eat and not feel this way.Damn, of all people why me and why now.Shit.

2009-10-13T21:31:00.005+08:00

Guess what came in the mail today!

Finally it has arrived!
I simply cannot stop smiling.
It was worth the cash and wait.
=D

2009-10-12T02:21:00.002+08:00

I got door slammed right in the face by a stupid rude bus driver
at city hall close to 1am yesterday.

Did ure mom even teach you any manners?
Where's ure fucking patience?
Cant you see me standing there trying to get up the bus?
Well i certainly think ure blind.

And isnt it even possible to even open ure mouth to apologize?
Damn, such a rude bastard.

_|_

2009-10-10T02:22:00.002+08:00

Insomnia.
It doesnt makes me feel any better.
Instead, all it does is to make me feel extremely restless.
Placing me next to a worm isnt any different.

While the rest are getting their beauty sleep,
here i am trying my very best to drift into a beautiful dream but to no avail.
My eating habit's also affected.
Ive been eating lesser and therefore i could withhold hours without food.

Body's feeling tensed but i could not determine the source of it.
Nothing's troubling me either.
So it's a tad weird on why im feeling like this.
Im concerned for myself. Well, not only me but my dear boy too.

It's gonna be 3am soon.
And im not even opposing a yawn.
This really bugs me.

2009-10-07T22:31:00.002+08:00

Blogger just doesnt want to upload a picture for me.

What's gonna happen to this world?
Flood in the Philippines,
Earthquake in Indonesia,
And yesterday, a mosque was on fire in Singapore.

What's next?
What's gonna become of us?
Everything's happening in one go, a quarter of the world is in a state of chaos.
Its not that i dont want chaos to start.
But this is different.

Disasters.
It's gonna consume us.
Paranoia, soon enough ulle take over the whole human race.

Alright enough of that.

2009-10-05T13:23:00.001+08:00

Tralalalala gonna bathe and buy me some markers!

2009-10-04T22:46:00.002+08:00

I need paint markers.
Besides having itching issues, my hands have been itching to
draw too.

Oh wells, Life has been good.
Better than ever.
What more when my jacket has been shipped!
Hopefully it'll arrive soon. Cant wait cant wait!

There's more to write actually.
But i cant remember what was on my mind earlier on.
Blame it on my STM.

2009-10-03T21:07:00.003+08:00

If only the human skin could be teared away as and when we like
and new skin would produce in an instant, i would be happy.
The rash is still going on. It irritates the hell out of me.

Mundane.
It describes the day today.
Butt, legs and hands are sore from sitting in the kitchen since afternoon
sewing a shirt. Well thats not the end. There's gonna be a skirt next.
And a jacket to paint later on.

The weather is being kind today.
Cool and a tad chilly.
Cosy cosy.

The thought of you makes me crack so hard everytime.
You stick well just like a tube of super glue.
I think you still dont understand fully.
It never did get to your brain did it?
Well, i doubt so too.

2009-09-28T23:57:00.002+08:00

Ahh its been so long since i saw this dude.

Ahh well, the itch is starting to come back.
Lets hope its not chicken pox or anything of that sort.
Cuz believe it or not, ive never had chicky poxy since the day i was born
till now.

Lets put that aside shall we?
And so ille be getting my new set of glasses tmr!
Now i dont have to worry about squinting my eyes to see whatever's
infront of me while wearing my old set of glasses.
Thanks ma.

Glad ive put on weight.
Finally, i could fit into my pants.
I dont understand why people wants to be as skinny as possible.
I mean, yes. Who wants to be overweight?
But not till the extend of looking like a living skeleton.
And that, makes one looks horrifying.

Eat well, rest well, exercise well.
And that would make ure body fine.

I dont really know why im talking bout this but, yeah i just did.
Okay im off to consume my noodles.

Toodles Bahoodles.

2009-09-28T00:42:00.003+08:00

Hello Jacket, here i come.

I wanna go swimming. Its been a long time since i swam.
Nabil said tmr, but im not that sure who would want to go.

Now, the thing is i dont know why im having stomach cramps.
Im off to watch a movie on my mac.
Goodnights people.

<3 you dear
^^

2009-09-24T19:13:00.002+08:00

Of all places, i chose to sit in front of my main gate

to surf the net.

Breezy.

Natural Air.

Sky's beautiful.

I guess this will be my net surfing location from now on.

I bet my neighbours would be shocked to find a pair of legs resting against

the stairs in front of my gate from inside the house.

Well, it isnt that bad.

The itch isnt going away.

Instead, its getting worse.

*scratch scratch scratch*

2009-09-24T18:18:00.002+08:00

My dear boy is sick while im having rashes.

It itches so much im scratching like a monkey.

And the thing is, i dont even know why im having rashes.

I dont have any allergies so how did the rashes start?

Hmmm.

Think im gonna spend my time at home today scratching and sewing.

Goodbye.

2009-09-22T18:28:00.005+08:00

Im back. Home sweet home.
Been away to spent 3 days with the fam at Batam.
It was quite okay. Im just glad that im living in a nice place in Sg.
I feel sad looking at most of the people living there.

Their housing conditions were bad.
And when it rains, everywhere will be muddy.
litters are everywhere.

But well, the things there are cheap!
I love that particular donut. But it wasnt open the 2nd day as it was on
Hari Raya. ):

I would want to go back there again just to eat that donut and A&W.

Anyways! Happy 1st Monthsary my boy!
Look at how time flies. Fast isnt it?
ILY! ^^

2009-09-14T02:32:00.002+08:00

Ive always wondered why some people love to hide behind the
computer screen and start the flame burning.

There's the phone.
Just pick it up, enter the digits, talk and settle everything
and youre done.

And there's meeting up.
Say whatever you have to say infront of the person and youre done.

I feel that its pointless hiding behind the screen.
Neither do i feel that its worth my time entertaining.
But sometimes, its just plain funny looking at what they wrote.
They could go on and on and on not knowing when to stop,
but all that they've written are not quite understandable.

They sure have the time to do all this.

Im beat, im going to bed.
goodnights.

2009-09-13T08:34:00.002+08:00

Haha, this is so funny.

And its so much fun.

Anyways, certain idiots living in the same block as me are completely

brain dead. Stupid idiots.

Never favored them. Never will either.

2009-09-11T05:01:00.002+08:00

There was a time when ppl said that there lived a young bright and ugly
hideous boy named erm erm erm..Nabilan Gamilan Kelantan..
he is so thin that ppl always mistook him as a coconut tree..
But well u cant blame him..
Becoz he is so poor, he barely got a meal to eat everyday.
He had to depend on his own shit to eat to keep him alive..
No matter how hard his life is..he never gave up..never surrendered..he kept on
fighting hardship..

One day as he was about to shit beside a banana tree..
He spotted a young beautiful lady..
He was so nervous that his shit retreated back into his digestive system..
He was out of words..
Especially when the lady knows that Nabil was not a coconut tree..

Nabil felt so happy becoz this particular lady
was the first to notice that he is not a tree..
So he went over to the lady and ask wats her name..
And where she came from..She answered him..
Her name was pon pon pon pon tianak..the lady is a stammering pontianak..
Hmmmmm....it reminds me of sumone..i think Cherie Tan Mei Yue..
But wait..lets get back to the story..

Nabil was so happy that he ask pontinak to marry him..u know being Nabil..
a young and ugly desperate boy..but strangely pontianak accepted..
soon after that they got married..and they live happily ever after..

So wats the moral of the story..?

The answer is....

Dun read this shit..becoz only assholes like u would read the whole story..

thank you..

Author: Dino shaw
want my ic no..??
ok next time i tell u guys k..be gd..dun hanky panky k..get married then do..

Yong Gan!!

2009-09-07T07:21:00.002+08:00

Once you've let something go, it isn't yours anymore.
Don't dwell on it. Don't hope for anything.
It makes my blood boil every single time i see/hear your name.
It makes me feel like giving you one nice roundhouse kick on the nose.

After knowing that it's already broken and blood's
flowing down from your nostrils,
I would love to watch you bleed to death.
If not, i would love to see you being crippled for life.

Girl, you're old enough to think and act maturely.
But it looks like as if you have the mind of a 14 year old kid.
My patience's running thin.

&heart;

2009-09-07T00:45:00.004+08:00

rytqvlir78yuhialfg;wroguajb;oicnu[pwetyrqlivbtlboYI;\
gkfubtelt8yloe8acnlotinucloa86t;bou'aew
ilsuytvborty;aotviypanotiup;it70bp8yba[nr;otv\li
ilutvbilanw;itubeirtup9vq8w-]0458n045b48 7bov;iyt

TAPAK KAKI AKU LEBIH LAWA DAPE MUKA KAU.
Scissors, tak bedek.

Ni aku consferm.

2009-09-02T12:45:00.003+08:00

Dont let my patience take over me to thrash you bitch.
Once i think that its enough, its really enough.

2009-09-02T00:57:00.008+08:00

SATURDAY:

AT NABIL'S:

2009-09-01T17:11:00.002+08:00

Bus 854 is being a total bitch since when i was a small kid.
Why cant the journey from Bedok to Khatib be as fast as possible?
My butt felt sore the moment the stood up and alighted at Khatib.
& Dino could laugh at me.
Thanks dear. Hahaha.

Spent the whole day at Nabil's playing Rockband and Guitar Heroes.
Watched a stupidly funny malay movie.
Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak.
Hilarious shit. Kept laughing all the way.

Took priceless pictures due to the fact that we were so damn bored
as we had nothing else to do.
So we decided to watch a Thai horror movie.
& Dino kept on trying to scare the shit out of me. -.-

SATURDAY:

It was good.
Alot of pictures were being taken.
Ille upload it in the next post.
(:

2009-08-26T18:58:00.003+08:00

I love the way you hold your guitar
I love the way you sing
I love the way you disturb the shit out of people
I love the way you wrote me that song

Im trying to be happy and positive for now.
Am i asking for too much?

2009-08-23T18:41:00.003+08:00

Just one blink.
Everything's gone.

It's raining, it's pouring. Im shivering there's no stopping.
Im gonna go off soon to Louis's place to meet up with him,Cherie and Dino too.
& im gonna sew my pants.

2009-08-18T03:00:00.003+08:00

Work was good. Well, except for the fact that i woke up late.
But still, i managed to get myself hyped up for work.
I was shocked to see Erin& Hippo at my workplace.
Apparently they were meeting Syirr and she told them where i was working at.
Hahaha. Such a surprise. Syirr came after school too.

Didnt manage to see my colleague do his work on his client as
i went off immediately to meet Baby and Bernard at Iluma.
While walking, i saw someone familiar.
& yes, i bumped into Dino. Such a small world.
& we went home together.

My eye bags should weigh about a tonne by now.
I better go to sleep.

Goodnight earthlings.

<3 you

2009-08-14T01:49:00.003+08:00

Dinner was good today.
Had Botak Jones and tummy is now happily fulfilled.

It was also good to see Imran today as its been long since we met.
Walked around cityhall with Anuar and Imran and crapped.
Im glad to have friends like them.
Noone can brighten up your day like they do.
Headed over to baby's and continued chilling.

It was fun. Really.

So anyways, guess where im working at now.
Im still an apprentice of course.
Find me.

<3 you alot.

2009-08-13T14:11:00.003+08:00

Happy 19th my dearest!
May whatever you wish come true and enjoy being 19.
[Which i dont think being 19 makes a difference]
hahahaha!

Love you baby.
We'll celebrate it super belated alright?
=D

<3

2009-08-10T23:48:00.003+08:00

Im tired of coughing.
Ille still be coughing even when im asleep.
If my lungs could talk, they would be screaming for help.
My nose isnt doing any better. Im having blocked nose.
And when i try to breathe in really hard, all i can hear is wheezing.

This morning i woke up with pains in my chest,
but its alright now.
Im sick of being sick. Work anti bodies, work.
damn.

2009-08-10T01:00:00.002+08:00

My days have been hectic.
Have been job hunting here and there but still to no avail.
Im not gonna rest my ass and mind till i find a suitable job for me.
Well, except when im sleeping of course.

Do check out the column on your left.
Im currently a freelance piercer, so if you would like to get a piercing
or a ear extension, please do leave me a message.
Plugs or studs could be ordered from me too.
Just give me a description of it and ille try to place an order for you.

Anyways, ive got a weird dream today.
But i cant remember it at all. Weird isnt it?
Hmm.

Baby i love and miss you truckloads.

2009-08-07T00:09:00.003+08:00

Im sick being sick.
I wonder why im sick all the time.
I wish to be bionic. So i wouldnt have to fall sick every now and then.
The last thing i want when im sick is to have a sore throat.
Im having one now and its tremendously painful.
Damn.

Anyways, i got to cuddle baby to sleep just now.
It was so comfortable i wish it would go on forever
even if it means not waking up ever again.

I didnt do anything productive today.
All i did was wake up in the morning, bathed, ate a few pieces of yam cake,
read a book, fell asleep halfway, felt hungry so
i woke up and went to the coffee shop with Louis and baby and had dinner.

That was not all.
After dinner, baby went back to my place and we slept.
I slept once again. Unbelievable.
But it was great. To be sleeping in the arms of your loved one makes you feel
secure and warm. (:

Alrightey then, i shall get back to my usual routine of bloghopping.
See you tmr love.
<3